Spectrum of Pleasure

In one of my earlier posts, I’d mentioned this app called “PURE” an anonymous dating app, predominantly for satiating your kinks. I didn’t end up meeting anyone who uses this app to learn about their experiences, so I forgot all about the app.

But I am not surprised, because the app is full of married people looking for secret moonlighting opportunities. So slim chance I’d have met anyone who’d be willing to openly sharing their experience on the app.

Anyway, recently their ad popped up again on my App Store, I decided to explore it myself. I can’t speak for the dating experience on the app, but oh boy, this app is truly educational if you want to acquaint yourself with the modern spectrum of pleasure.

Honestly, I didn’t understand most of what I saw, but I wanted to share my discoveries (mostly questions) for the greater benefit(?) of this community. If you are a newb like me, this seemed like a good starting point to understand kinks, maybe?

The app lists about 41 types of “turn ons” or kinks. I’m sharing a few of them here to give you a flavour for the wide variety of things that people consider pleasurable today.

Level 1: Non-contact sport

Music, Literature, Artsy, Board Games, Anime, Film buff, Let’s dance and Sapiosexuality: Fairly straightforward to understand - people connecting on common interests is an age old recipe for intimacy (resulting in pleasure). But most of this probably qualifies as "foreplay” and can be executed mostly digitally. Some of it might be a bit niche - like board games or anime, but I am guessing these are increasing popular with the younger folks?

Level 2: Familiar stuff

Sexting, foot Fetish, Kisses, Striptease, Massage, Vanilla, Fantasies and Role Play: Most of this seemed familiar from media, if not from personal experience. The role play bit (some of it could be classified as BDSM) probably involves a bit more effort than that the rest of the stuff here, but American media has popularised it enough for some people to be really into it and pull it off quite easily?

Level 3: Pain is pleasure, maybe?

Edging, Dirty Talk, I’m a Dom, I’m a sub, Switch, Biting, Breakfast and Wax Play (isn’t cleaning up after a massive pain?!): If not for “50 shades of grey”, I’d probably be unfamiliar with most of these terminologies. Most of this stuff is classic BDSM, where pain is considered pleasure. I’d love to understand what influences the perception of people who prefer to dominate or be dominated or be physically harmed in order to enjoy physical intimacy, like an anthropological study.

Level 4: … (I’ve no words)

Being watched, home video, cuckold, swinging, hotel, been to therapy, feminism and devices: The first few involving third party stakeholders - I understand the terminology, but why they trigger pleasure - I am not certain. Whereas, the last few left me truly perplexed.

What does dismantling patriarchy even entail here? Will there be a castration ceremony? Also, how did going to therapy become a kink now - I get people valuing someone who is mindful or self aware as a partner, but for a hook up? I mean, I am glad we are talking about mental health and therapy this openly, but I am struggling to understand how this influences pleasure.

Would an annual physical health check up trigger as much pleasure? Just wondering.

And, room service with consent? I just googled this because I don’t know what the hell it means. This is the first thing that popped up. Now, I am wondering if I should’ve classified this under level 1 as “common interests” because I am really not sure how this works with someone you connect with on an app.

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Here’s one that’s not listed on the app - but something someone once told me - their kink is to discuss other people’s kinks, or what I’d like to call a meta kink.

So, turns out, there’s really a wide array of things that people find pleasurable and I have a feeling this app captures only a small subset of our idiosyncrasies. Given my interest in human behaviour, I’d like to get behind the workings of the human brain that influences specific choices among pleasure-seeking beings.

P.S. - On an unrelated note, I really like the art on this app. It’s so quirky.