ChatGPT & Me
I gave it a try, asked tonnes of questions, some related and some not. Given everything that’s happened at OpenAI, I may never deploy it for public use. But I still thought it might be fun to share the results of my test with you guys.
So here goes …
Overall, the bot basically said two things for most questions about relationships:
Be more open and communicative
If you can’t do that, get help from a professional
So, this bot has basically built a caricature of Shapely Gal with these two things and tries to wing it. You know like how you’d write a 10-mark answer in a social studies test when you haven’t studied but know one or two words to build faff around?
In any case, I thought I’ll share one of the several questions I asked the bot, how it responded and what I thought of it.
I am looking for a serious relationship. Which is better - dating apps or matrimonial apps?
My bot response:
Choosing between dating apps and matrimonial apps depends on your specific preferences and goals. Dating apps are generally more casual and offer a wide range of possibilities, from short-term connections to serious relationships. Matrimonial apps, on the other hand, are typically geared towards individuals who are actively seeking a life partner and marriage.
If your focus is on finding a serious, long-term relationship with the intention of marriage, matrimonial apps might be more aligned with your goals. However, it is important to use the platform that feels right for you and aligns with your personal approach to finding a partner. Remember, the key is clear communication of your intentions, regardless of the platform you choose.
My human rating & commentary:
Overall, I’d rate this response a 6/10.
My answer to most things is usually “it depends”. So, from that perspective, the bot seems to have done well with “a one size doesn’t fit all” approach. I’ve deducted 4 points - 1 for content (pardonable), and 3 for completely missing my style.
Content: I would have also considered “time” as a critical factor - how quickly do you want to get into a relationship/ how much time are you willing to invest in this pursuit? If you want to “settle down” within the next 12-18 month timeframe, then matrimonial apps generally work better than dating apps. If you’ve time, then you are probably more likely to find your match on a dating app since people there are more likely to share your intent and timeline.
Also, I thought the response was “safe”, nothing too opinionated. Now, I don’t know if that’s my writing or ChatGPT’s rational filter. Nevertheless, it’s both good and bad. Good because it steers clear from saying anything dangerous (hopefully), bad because it sounds boring.
Style: I don’t know if it’s a feature of chatGPT to feel compelled to provide a comprehensive answer in the first go rather than ask a few clarifying questions. As a human (and I don’t know if it’s a personal style), I usually avoid making assumptions about my clients’ intentions when I am asked a question. I think most decent consultants approach problem solving in a similar manner.
So, my first instinct would’ve been to say “define better - better in what way? cost wise? time wise? safety wise? what exactly are you optimising for in your search process?”
Once the client clarifies, I respond and leave some room for further discussion. This triggers a thought in the client, to which my response again entails a combination of clarifications and responses, and thus, the conversation builds, enabling clarity at some point, leading to better decision making.
It’s not for the lack of information that people work with consultants or coaches, because plenty of it already exists on the internet. It’s this process of refining their on-going thinking with a back and forth conversation that people find valuable in helping them make independent choices sustainably thereafter.
But in this case, I felt that I had to constantly provide context and nuances to the bot to help tailor a response that would be satisfactory to me. Now, that’s a lot of effort for someone who is dealing with a personal emotional crisis (which is when most people seek professional support).
Having used a bot like Replika, I am also cognisant that asking too many clarifying questions can be annoying. It makes you wonder if the app is stupid, asking you what seem like fairly obvious questions that an average human would get without asking (reminds me of NHS helpline asking you if you are conscious even after you’ve spoken to them for 2-min, just because it’s on their checklist of questions to ask)
So, it’s important to find the right balance between asking for clarification, providing insights and encouraging further discussion until you “feel” like the other person has their questions answered.
What do you think? You can leave your thoughts in the comments sections.